Senator McCain: I can't believe that you are willing to have unconditional talks with the worlds tyrants without preconditions!

Senator Obama: Are you talking about my position that I would hold talks with Iranian leaders, as long as there is proper preparation and that the talks are in America's best interest?

Senator McCain: No, you offered to meet with Hillary Clinton at a time and place of her choosing, after "the dust settles". And this is even after she had refused to concede the race to you!

POW! (Using his roundhouse 'town hall' debating techniques, Barack Obama explains one of the finer points of advanced political theory to Senator McCain.)

Senator McCain: Ouch! What's wrong with you!?!? I thought that you and Senator Clinton were political rivals!

Senator Obama: Listen, Senator McCain - when the Democratic Party wants your opinion on Senator Clinton or any other subject we'll 'persuade' it out of you with advanced political theory. Why don't you stick to defending your lobbyists and deluding yourself about the senseless deaths of American soldiers your party has caused.

Terry McAuliffe: Yay! Way to go, Barack! Now you can make Senator Clinton your vice president!

Senator Obama: Don't push it, Terry. Just as Senator Clinton's supporters are going through a grieving process, my supporters are still flabbergasted and offended at Senator Clinton's recent behavior. My announcement of a vice presidential candidate will take place at the Democratic convention in August, as per tradition. 'Nuff said.

Terry McAuliffe: Yes. You're right. Sorry.

Senator McCain: Curses, foiled again! I must return to my secret underground lair to seek further instructions from my spiritual advisor...

Arthur Godfrey: Do you mean Rev. Rod Parsley and Rev. John Hagee?

Senator McCain: No...

Republican lobbyist: Do you mean your financially loyal, corporate-run special interest groups?

Senator McCain: No...

Glenn Beck: Do you mean President Bush?

Senator McCain: No... I must seek further instructions from my supreme lord and master, Darth Cheney!